How special of a day is it when Graeme McDowell was able to walk off of a victory in one of the most important golf tournaments in the world and hug his father afterward. Watching this golf match without being able to call my Dad afterward makes me sad....especially since it is fathers day. It was strange however when I developed a roll of film that I found yesterday in a drawer..tell you how old that film was! Anyway, I picked it up today and the clerk said that they were only able to develop 8 pictures from that roll....they were of my my parents at my house in Chicago and of my sister and brother-in-law whom I have not seen in 4 years. Isnt it ironic....its like raaaainnn on your wedding day....its like a free ride when youve already paid...life is a funny, funny thing.....happy Fathers Day Dad..I love you.

While I was at my mothers last week, one of Moms caregivers came to work and she was walking delicately. What happened I asked. She said that she was vacuuming because my sister was coming to see Mom and she injured her back. I was shocked primarily because this particular caregiver never cleans up after herself-- let alone Moms house! Ok if you have read my previous posts, I have mentioned how my sister tried to find my mother incompetent and tried to become her Guardian (in a sneaky unethical way) and once that happened...once you ever do anything like this; the courts get involved. So Mom was appointed a Conservator who lives 50 miles away and really doesn't understand all of the things that go into caregiving. Anyway, I smelled a workman's comp issue (not that this caregiver with the bad back was headed that way--I just had a gut feeling). Why do I say this? Because she said that she injured her tailbone...Now how in the heck do you injure your tailbone sweeping?!@@!!! She could barely walk let alone take care of my mother so I called the conservator and told them what was going on...What did he do? Got ticked off that this particular caregiver was even sweeping in the first place because there is a cleaning lady to do this! I give up! What caregiver that gets paid $14/hour and isnt required to do light housekeeping? This means that if Mom so much as puts a crumb on the floor, this caregiver can just leave it for days until the cleaning lady gets there...unbelieveable! I would have fired this caregiver months ago and I cant do a thing about it because of my sister and her antics she pulled in 05...So who suffers? My mother because she is being cared for by inferior caregivers!

Yesterday I spoke with a technologist who is focusing their efforts on technology and aging in place. The person with whom I was speaking did not(in my opinion) agree with me on something. I was telling her that I-Phone apps and mobile applications are all helpful, but they only create islands of more information. For example, take a mobile application that helps remind you when re-fills are due on medications..ok that is good, but there is a whole lot of other information that is needed in the grand sceme of things that simply can not be accessed either in an emergency or with other caregivers who are also caring for a loved one if it resides on an I-Phone. I came to the conclusion that alot of the companies that are creating technology for caregivers, have never been a caregiver and dont have a clue with how it all works because there are duties of a family caregiver that just can not be automated.

I wrote yesterday that my sister did not call Mom on mothers day and she actually called after I wrote my blog yesterday....Wonders never cease!

Its Mothers Day and my wonderful, sweet, angel of a mother will not remember if I was here to celebrate this day with her...but I will remember. My mother will not remember that my sister did not call to wish my mother a happy mothers day...but my sister knows that she did not call. My mother wont remember that I am cooking one of her favorite dinners for her today....but I will remember. I tell my mother every day that I love her and thank her for being my mother...does she remember? No, but I do....

That is what a caregiver fed Mom for Lunch this week! She also gave her a handful (no a bowl) of spice drops before breakfast! No wonder her blood sugar levels are high for the first time in her life. This caregiver in my mothers home (there are two of them) are completely worthless...and what can I do about it? Nothing, because my sister decided to try and find my mother incompetent years ago and the courts appointed a conservator over her that doesnt have a clue what is going on....Poor Mom...

I was so hurt on Friday when my cousin called from CA and asked for Mom. When the caregiver who answered the phone said that Mom was not available, but Melissa was "would you like to speak with her"? NO, she said. I was so angry, but really that anger was hurt. This particular cousin is my mother's niece; 81, blind and has lived in CA for a long time. Everytime she would come to visit or everytime she would call I would love to talk with her! We always have had a great relationship! Wonder what my sister said to her? Who needs enemies when you have such an _ _ !! sister! I say it all of the time--if you are an only child, consider yourself LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mother has a caregiver who talks baby talk to my mother which makes me NUTS! "HI SUNSHINE" is what she has said EVERY SINGLE time she walks into my mothers home. It is just nonstop baby talk the entire time. On countless occasions I have said something to the caregiver about doing this, but because of my sister, my mother has a conservator who is in charge and this caregiver just looks at me because she knows there isnt a damn thing I can do about it!

Today, the last day of the Masters Golf tournament at Augusta is so emotional for me. I grew up playing golf with my parents every Sunday and this tournament gives me the same feeling I would have on the golf course with my parents. The Masters represents tradition. The Masters is tradition and I am so fortunate to watch it with my 92 year old mother today. Tradition gives me a sense of grounding I guess; like the feeling I used to get on Christmas or Easter with my then (nice) sister. So maybe that is why I love this tournament so much….I just wish that my Dad was sitting here in his black chair telling me to be quite while talking when Tiger was putting…..

That is what my mother told my sister who called last night at almost 10:00pm to wish my 92 year old mother Happy Birthday and Happy Easter! Now thats how I want to celebrate my 92nd birthday if I am still alive! Happy Birthday Mom...we had a few glasses of wine to celebrate and Im so glad you had fun!

Mom was taken to the hospital last week after falling, then was admitted into the hospital for observation. Her blood pressure at that time? 90/40! Hello! So, when she was released I asked the caregiver what Moms bp was. SHE COULDN'T TELL ME! Unbelievable...the next day after being released I asked first thing in the morning. "What is Mom's bp"? I DONT KNOW IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE ANSWER! Mom is on bp medicine and I want her taken off of it so that we can monitor what it is when not on it. So, I ask if she would please take her bp; her answer—“I will take it this afternoon” NO WAY I could have reached thru the phone to ring her chicken neck! So, I have to get on the phone with Moms conservator (she has one because of my sister) and tell the secretary that I want Moms bp taken 2xs a day to monitor it. CRAZY! Oh and one more little detail....she forgot to take Mom to her doctors appointment yesterday....and I cant even fire this woman because of my sister! ghrrrrrrrr.

My soon to be 92 year old mother was in the hospital overnight for observation. I just got off of the phone with Moms Conservator (she has one because of my sisters antics). Anyway, because he is in this role, the physicians call him to give him an update. So, I see his cell phone # across my phone and again my heart sinks with the thought of having to hear those same eerie words I did about my father 6 years ago. I dont let him even say a word without asking "Is Mom ok"? If there is bad news, I want to hear it immediately. Anyway, the report came back from the doctor that Moms carotid arteries are 80% blocked. First, she is a rural hospital---SCARY! Secondly, I have been thru this before; there is no way they could determine if there was 80% blockage until there were further tests....amazing...Anyway, I told the Conservator that I dont want further testing. He agreed and I am just curious if you would have made the same decision on your 92 year old mother?

I was on the phone for business and my heart sank when I saw my mothers caregiver number come across my caller ID on my cell phone. It was a really important call and I thought I'll call immediately after I hang up. Then my home phone rang with my next door neighbors cell phone number on my caller ID. I knew it really wasnt good. Mom fell this morning and when one of the caregivers got her up and sat her in the chair she fainted...she has never fainted in her life. They couldnt get a pulse so they called 911. She is ok. They ran a CAT-Scan to see if she had a stroke and thankfully she did not. It is her blood pressure. It was 90/40...my gosh! she is on blood pressure medication--maybe she should be off of it!....I wanted to run home immedidately.....but I live 350 miles away and need to work. It is sickening the thought that she is in the hosptial tonight and I am not there...even though they want to hold her for observation. I am lucky though because her caregiver is going to be spending the night with her. My sister who so infrequently calls my mother had not called yet when I spoke with a caregiver. Typical. It was 6 hours after Mom was admitted in the hospital. Scary day.

For those of you with whom I met at our booth (#212) at the Aging in America conference, I thank you for your time! This conference was really interesting for a number of reasons, but mostly because of the fact that technology is playing an increasing important role to help caregivers. Technology to help reduce the loneliness, sites to engage seniors from brain stimulation to safety; all of it is so important for a caregiver to help streamline the amount of time it takes to balance work, family and friends. That statement can never be understated. Caregivers need support. Thank you for all the attendees that spent time at our booth to learn how my company, Mar’age; is one of those companies who truly has a commitment to help caregivers like myself! Please dont forget to download the complimentary link! www.marageinc.com/aging

I get a call last night from one of Mom's caregivers complaining about another caregiver. I am sorry to say this being a woman, but women are so damn petty! I mean one of the caregivers called my sister to ask if she really minds that they use the front door versus coming in the back! HONESTLY! This caregiver asked me my opinion last night about this and my mouth opened with disbelief! Enough! Honestly, I take pictures of Moms house before I leave now because according to one of the caregivers she complains with how "messy" the house is before we leave....All of this is going into my book and in much more detail. you may think that you want your loved one to stay in their home, but there are so many considerations that one does not even think about!

Im losing a little bit of my mother more and more each day because of her dementia and today am just so sad because of it. I dont know whether it is because she is now putting her medications in her water versus taking them, or the blank look on her face. Maybe it is the continual wandering in the middle of the night. Who can say what makes a daughter or loved one caring for someone with dementia "feel more sad"...I guess it is just a combination of things.